Suicide Prevention

This past week, September 4th to September 10th, 2011, has been National Suicide Prevention Week, and today, the 10th, is World Suicide Prevention Day. While I don't feel that it is something that is highly publicized (although it should be), it is one of the many things that is very important to me. I say it's not highly publicized because although I see postings about it on the internet through the different non-profits I follow (such as To Write Love On Her Arms and Love is Louder), I haven't heard about it on the news and I don't see any others posting about it on my facebook or even twitter feed. Perhaps it is simply not as important to them as it is to me, which is fine, but I would like to see more postings about it.

As I've indicated, for me, suicide prevention is very important. I know people who have struggled with thoughts of suicide and although this may come as a surprise to those I know, I have also had thoughts of suicide. I have, to date, never attempted suicide and to be honest, admitting any of this on a blog that I know people who know me may stumble across is quite frightening because judgement is something that I fear greatly. Apart from that, I also don't want people to freak out and start treating me differently, afraid to step on my toes. Despite these fears, however, because I think it's something that we should all not be afraid to talk about, I feel like I shouldn't be afraid to talk about my personal side of it either.

Reflecting on the many years that these thoughts have gone through my head, it's interesting to see just how many different mindsets I have gone through where these thoughts persisted. From deep depression to happiness to somewhere in between, it's just been a recurring thought. For a long time, it was a daily thought. It drummed away in my head from the moment I woke up to the time I went to sleep, a constant whisper in the back of my mind because I was just having trouble dealing with different things. There was school, work, and just a bunch of different situations that were all barrelling down upon me that were unbearable.

But then one day the thoughts stopped. I was convinced that I had stopped being suicidal, that I had overcome every adversity around me, and I was proud of myself. I still am proud of myself, but I have learned that the thought of suicide is just on the brink of my mind. Going through a tough situation showed me that suicide, to my mind, is still an out if I can't handle something. The thought that I wouldn't be able to handle something sounds ludicrous to me now because of some things I have been through, but there's always the fear that something will be too much.

What I feel is most interesting is that I am at a rather happy point in my life. I still have struggles and moments of being down, but I decided that I will be happy and even more importantly that I deserve to be happy. After years, I came to the realization that happiness is not something that just comes along one day, but rather a conscious decision that needs to be made. I said to myself, no matter what happens to me, I'm going to make it through and that I can and more importantly will be happy. Maybe it sounds corny or cheesy or something to that effect, but it is something that has changed my life for the better.

So if I'm so happy, why do I still have thoughts of suicide? I'm sure it has something to do with other underlying issues that I have, but I cannot say the exact reason. In any case, it is because I know that life is valueable and because I have struggled with these thoughts myself that I am so into promoting anything about suicide prevention. I want to help others realize that we can make it through, even if it feels like the worst thing in the world right now. I want to help others realize that happiness is just a decision away and that it's something that can be attained by all of us.

As with most mental illnesses, however, suicide comes with a social stigma. Suicide victims are seen as cowardly, attention seekers, weak, and all around not people that deserve attention. True, there are some people that just use suicide for the sake of getting attention and not because they're actually need help, and those are the people that have tainted the view for everyone else. But the fact that someone wants to die and even worse take his/her own life is not something to overlook for be taken lightly. People who are suicidal are not cowards or weak. Perhaps the situation that made a person commit suicide seems really trivial to you, but obviously to that person it was not something that he/she could handle. Maybe it was something that he/she was never taught to deal with. Maybe there is some other reason that it was all just too much. Just because it's something that you find trivial doesn't mean that it's trivial to someone else and we shouldn't belittle others for their feelings.

Instead of being so fixated on judging someone, we should be out to help the person. One of the reasons I've kept my own struggles with suicide as a private thing is because of the fear of judgement (although also because I've always felt that I should be able to fix my own problems). I think, "Will people look down on me? Will they abandon me? Will they see me negatively?" I think that these are probably common fears among us. To say stop judging people would be silly because it is something that we do even without thinking about it, but I think what we should do is push these judgements aside so that we can help others.

I wonder how we got to this point where we are quicker to judge and dismiss others than we are to help them. I don't think I'll ever know just how we did, but I think we should start to turn it around the other way. Instead of being senselessly judgemental, let's offer a shoulder to cry on or our time in listening. Something as simple as a kind word may save someone's life. Is that so hard? I don't think so. I realize that it may not always be as simple as I'm maybe making it sound, but I think an important part in suicide prevention is being there and showing each other that we really do care, no matter what.

So, I implore you, don't turn away from those who need help. Instead, see what you can do to help them.

<3