Always someone better? Not comforting.

On tumblr and I suppose just around the internet in general I see a lot of posts along the lines of, "There's always going to be someone prettier, smarter, better at things" et cetera, et cetera, and while I get the message is intended to be that we should stop having anxiety and insecurities about these things because there will always be someone who outdoes us, I find no comfort in this statement. No strength, no hope. Rather, I find this kind of statement upsetting. Why? Because ultimately the comparison still exists. Because it feels then like whoever walks into my life is only settling on me, perhaps because that someone better is unattainable. You see my problem?

I'm not silly enough to think comparisons will simply cease to exist, especially in the mentality of the western world, but why am I not good enough just as I am? Why must there be someone better? Whether it's the truth or not is irrelevant. My point is that is not a source of comfort to be told that there is someone better. It doesn't inspire me to be more comfortable with myself, or to try and better myself, because by that logic, what's the point? There's always someone better anyway, no matter how good or how pretty or how successful I become.

I think we should value each person as he or she is, not how he or she compares to others. We should value each person for his own acheivements and successes and way of being. I think in the end, when we truly care about someone, it is about that--loving that person and caring about that person for who he is as himself, not in comparison to others. But before that point is reached, it seems to be all about how someone is always going to be better. Why can we not apply the same principle of individual value across the board? Why can we not empower each other for what we each have to offer?

No. Being told that someone else is always going to better me is not comforting. It's defeating.

My problem with individual emphasis.

To say that we're all the same would be ridiculous. Each of us has a different personality and differences about who we are, what we believe in, how we live our lives, and so on and so forth. I have no problem with that and I think it's beautiful. My problem is the emphasis on individuality and being different in the North America to the point where we separate ourselves from one another and we all become strangers to be avoided. It's not that we're different, but how we treat those from whom we are different--like they are lesser, like we have the right to berate them, like we have the right to try and tear them down. When we're so caught up in being different from the next guy, we seem to forget that that next guy is human, too. That he has sorrows and joys and a life that has value. It seems to me that we get so caught up in being different that some of us think that no one else has any worth, or at least not as much worth as we do.

This is seen with cliques, or really any different grouping, and not just in the high school sphere. To try and pin this all on children and teenagers is just as ridiculous as saything that we're all the same, if not moreso. Adults need to get off their high horses sometimes and realize that they can be just as bad when it comes to this sort of thing. Realize that when they don't like someone or are cruel to him just because he is different that they are participating in the same kind of bullying as young people do.

Being different is fine because if we really were all the same then it would be incredibly boring and there would, I think, be no point. But we can't forget one way in which we are all the same--that we're all human and that we all have life experiences. Just because someone is depressed doesn't mean that we should hate that person or make fun of them for being "emo"; likewise, if someone is happy doing something then we should not say that he or she is just stupid becuase we don't like whatever it is.

Somewhere along the line, we've lost connection with one another and another issue that arises from that is that we all seem to feel alone, and moreover that we're the only ones who are alone. It's not true. Society and our participation in its values of separation in this regard has told us that we shouldn't confide in each other and go to each other for support, especially if we are not of the same group or don't have the same likes and dislikes, and we follow suit. Of course I'm speaking in generalities, since there are those of us who disregard this principle entirely, but for the most part, we're all about isolating ourselves and tearing each other down.

We need to regain this connection and remind each other that we are human, that we can help one another, and that each of our lives has value.