To say that we're all the same would be ridiculous. Each of us has a different personality and differences about who we are, what we believe in, how we live our lives, and so on and so forth. I have no problem with that and I think it's beautiful. My problem is the emphasis on individuality and being different in the North America to the point where we separate ourselves from one another and we all become strangers to be avoided. It's not that we're different, but how we treat those from whom we are different--like they are lesser, like we have the right to berate them, like we have the right to try and tear them down. When we're so caught up in being different from the next guy, we seem to forget that that next guy is human, too. That he has sorrows and joys and a life that has value. It seems to me that we get so caught up in being different that some of us think that no one else has any worth, or at least not as much worth as we do.
This is seen with cliques, or really any different grouping, and not just in the high school sphere. To try and pin this all on children and teenagers is just as ridiculous as saything that we're all the same, if not moreso. Adults need to get off their high horses sometimes and realize that they can be just as bad when it comes to this sort of thing. Realize that when they don't like someone or are cruel to him just because he is different that they are participating in the same kind of bullying as young people do.
Being different is fine because if we really were all the same then it would be incredibly boring and there would, I think, be no point. But we can't forget one way in which we are all the same--that we're all human and that we all have life experiences. Just because someone is depressed doesn't mean that we should hate that person or make fun of them for being "emo"; likewise, if someone is happy doing something then we should not say that he or she is just stupid becuase we don't like whatever it is.
Somewhere along the line, we've lost connection with one another and another issue that arises from that is that we all seem to feel alone, and moreover that we're the only ones who are alone. It's not true. Society and our participation in its values of separation in this regard has told us that we shouldn't confide in each other and go to each other for support, especially if we are not of the same group or don't have the same likes and dislikes, and we follow suit. Of course I'm speaking in generalities, since there are those of us who disregard this principle entirely, but for the most part, we're all about isolating ourselves and tearing each other down.
We need to regain this connection and remind each other that we are human, that we can help one another, and that each of our lives has value.
I think that there is a real difference bwtween a genuine process of finding one's individuality, what Carl Jung calls individuation, and the kind of competitive scurrying after marks of distinction and individuality that is often characteristic of our culture.
ReplyDeleteThe trouble with a lot of the ways that people try to distinguish themselves in our culture is that we try to do it by out-performing the other, or by somehow being higher up on some criterion or benchmark than others. Which of course means, that if I'm "one up", somebody else has to be "one down". But really entering into my individuality has nothing to do with establishing that I'm "special": it has everything to do with celebrating and living out the fact that I'm a unique person. The great thing about that is that you get to be unique, too, and there is no need for us to compete with each other. AND we can respect the common humanity we share, and celebrate the possibility of connection.
Thanks very much for this post. I think that you're highlighting something with which we really need to come to terms as a culture.
Thanks so much for reading and for the comment, Brian. I had no idea Jung had a theory like that (I'm not well studied when it comes to him). I agree with everything you said though, and think that you've made it even clearer. We can still be individuals and still coexist and appreciate each other. :)
Delete