On tumblr and I suppose just around the internet in general I see a lot of posts along the lines of, "There's always going to be someone prettier, smarter, better at things" et cetera, et cetera, and while I get the message is intended to be that we should stop having anxiety and insecurities about these things because there will always be someone who outdoes us, I find no comfort in this statement. No strength, no hope. Rather, I find this kind of statement upsetting. Why? Because ultimately the comparison still exists. Because it feels then like whoever walks into my life is only settling on me, perhaps because that someone better is unattainable. You see my problem?
I'm not silly enough to think comparisons will simply cease to exist, especially in the mentality of the western world, but why am I not good enough just as I am? Why must there be someone better? Whether it's the truth or not is irrelevant. My point is that is not a source of comfort to be told that there is someone better. It doesn't inspire me to be more comfortable with myself, or to try and better myself, because by that logic, what's the point? There's always someone better anyway, no matter how good or how pretty or how successful I become.
I think we should value each person as he or she is, not how he or she compares to others. We should value each person for his own acheivements and successes and way of being. I think in the end, when we truly care about someone, it is about that--loving that person and caring about that person for who he is as himself, not in comparison to others. But before that point is reached, it seems to be all about how someone is always going to be better. Why can we not apply the same principle of individual value across the board? Why can we not empower each other for what we each have to offer?
No. Being told that someone else is always going to better me is not comforting. It's defeating.
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